And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
