She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
