After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All the doctor said was why
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
