My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize