I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
