absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
