If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
