Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
