I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
