Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
