Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
