Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Plan B is the new Plan A
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
