Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
