Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
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she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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