last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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