That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
