Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
