It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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