I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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