oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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