her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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