I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize