So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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