I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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