found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
