he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
