Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
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I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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