I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
