I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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