not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
