My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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