super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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