No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
