No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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