How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
