On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
