i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
