is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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