I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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