To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
