You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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