Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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