Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You ruined the universe
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
