and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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