are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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