I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
