you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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