nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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