You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
