what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize