I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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