so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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