I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
