Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
