i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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