We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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