Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize