Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
