i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
