after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize