I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
