Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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