Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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