11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
