i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
