That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
