i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
