Please, let me fuck your mom
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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