I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
